Hello again my personified acquaintances. I have recently shared a troubling and life altering experience with my house minions and they have reached out to me and convinced me to notify you web ensnared entities of the traumatic story of your knowledgeable Goddess of all knowledge's near death experience.

"So there I was. Glowing in all my beauty and selflessness as I donated my time to help one of my minions in training by washing her windows in her basement. Yes, I am a humble goddess that knows all about the sacrifices of every day love and cleaning basements. I opened the window that sat floor level to my soon-to-be minion's backyard, and when I opened the window I noticed a few webs hazing my view of the solitary white floating cotton candy ball in the middle of the strange blue wallpaper above the earth. I took the loud air sucking device and pointed at the web, but before the end of the black tube reached the webbing, a big black beast of pointed limbs that add to twice the amount of a human, lurked out of a web tunnel and stared at me in disbelief. I assumed that I offended him, but since he was the wrong doer in this situation I had to take my stand. "Behond you lonesome and death inviting demon! You must leave now or forever hold your snare! For you have been stealing from my almost-minion by building your treacherous web and eating freely whilst sleeping on a piece of property that you have not been paying or renting for. Either pay your dues or get out!" I said to him in a bold and high pitched demanding and not at all shaky voice. I saw in his multiple eyes that he was going to be a stubborn law-defying beast. I know how much I am loved and worshiped by my followers and the minions in my palace of yellow plastic which is guarded by dead wasps and a ticklish 5 month-old rat so I made the courageous decision to let this argument go off into the infinite air-space and dissipate. However, the black multi-legged demon appeared to disagree with my decision and charged me with amateur fury! I took a step back into a fighting pose which seemed to freeze the beast in mid bound on his badly sewn web of death. I had expected him to stop in his tracks since my fighting stance is so scary that it haunts my minions in their sleep and keeps them obedient to me 24/7/12/365. But then the beast pushed through his fears and his fight-or-flight kicked in. HE CHARGED AGAIN! And this time he didn't stop for anything. I knew he didn't mean to do it but his adrenalin was pulsing through him and causing him to turn against his Goddess of All Knowledge and so I made a wise decision, like all leaders have to do in their ruling time, and I blocked his path toward my face by slamming the freshly clean window down in front of me. HE RUBBED IS DIRTY MONSTER FEET ALL OVER MY WINDOWS!!! All that work has gone down the drain...How inconsiderate of a beast that I showed mercy and understanding to and didn't kill with my air-sucking tube that inconveniently is attached to a giant machine of some kind....

Anyways, if it wasn't for my incredible speedy reflexes I would have been killed without any witnesses to avenge me, and since my soon-to-be minion is Deaf, she wouldn't have heard me scream in my moment of despair, which never would have happened because I am a brave and young warrior Goddess of All Knowledge and everyone knows that Goddesses never scream about 8 legged freaks attacking them."

Now that you know just how wonderful of a leader I am, you are all welcome to join me by becoming one of my minions. To be recruited to my forces, all you have to do is follow me and continue to take in all my knowledge and advice on this inter space that I am legally borrowing from the enticing forces of the inter webs and nets. Don't fret my friendly personifications, I shall be back!